How Much For Happy?

I’m tired and cold and broke and I miss my family. I had to move and I can’t find shit in the new house. I tried to decorate for Christmas, found about half the stuff, did what I could with it. Can’t find the other half…looked everywhere…just about gave up yesterday out of frustration. Pulled it together but still feel like my world has been turned upside down. Tired of feeling like a fish out of water.

Trying my hardest to get in the Christmas spirit but hardly feel at home. I thought unpacking would make me feel better…unpacked the entire house in two days…nothing’s changed. Thought getting a Christmas tree would help too…if anything it made it worse. Don’t know what to do next.

Worried about gifts, worried about money for gifts and having the time to get everything out. Thinking if the people I’m sending stuff too even think about me or if they care at all. This year has been hard…makes me wonder what 2016 will bring…or who 2016 will bring or who else it will take away.

Scared to death. Feel like I’m at a breaking point. Trying really hard to be happy. Coming up empty time and time again. Life is strange sometimes.

Hoping it gets better.

§Rainbows & Skeletons§


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