In an effort to give the people what they most want, I’ve decided to only respond to my “fan” club in one of four easy and cuntvenient ways, including and most definitely limited to,
•Job rejection letters
•A court order
•Vague Facebook postings
•A skull (preferably of an enemy) filled with acorns, shaken about.
I will no longer be accepting things like “phone calls”, “heart felt letters”, “emails”, “text messages”, “cards”, and most definitely not “face to face conversations”.
I hope this clears up any and all confusion, as there has been much speculation regarding my status as a “human being” with human “feelings” and “emotions”. I assure you that out of my seven very fabricated personalities, not one of them is sentient, or has any ability or capacity to feel, perceive, or experience subjectively. I promise.
§Rainbows & Skeletons§