Aug 26: Photo A Day – Something I Love

Not really something but rather someone. I love my Jacob! (And also my Daise dog who took getting sat on like a pro!!)

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

Aug 20: Photo A Day – Family Photo

My family as of May of this year. I’m the one being crushed in the middle if you couldn’t tell.

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

**Generally I am hesitant when posting about my parents so please, don’t make me regret this.

School Hasn’t Even Started And I’m Already Pissed Off

Jake’s school had his open house tonight, and we finally got to meet his teacher! She seems very nice and Jake seems at least a tad bit excited to get back into the classroom. Though we didn’t recognize many names from the class list from last year, I’m sure he’ll make lots of new friends in the first grade! I can’t believe he’s already so big!!! Seems just last year he was my chubby little pre-schooler!

That being said, not everything is roses this year (of course not, what did you expect from me?!). Some of those things being…

–His teacher is yet again unprepared. She is, as they always are, new to the school and therefore hasn’t had too much time to get it together. As you walk down the hallway and see all the other classrooms, there’s pictures and posters, colorful artwork, some stuffed animals, etc. When you walk into Jake’s, it’s completely black and white. There’s no pictures or artwork, no color, just blank tables and chairs. Paperwork is strewn about, there aren’t enough forms for all the parents; it’s a wreck! What has this teacher been doing all summer?! I understand that putting work into your curriculum is important, obviously, and nothing else should come first. But no kid wants to learn in a boring, color-less environment. Open house is the time to wow the parents and to get the kids excited about coming back to school, and I definitely was not “wowed” or impressed. Get it together lady, you’re teaching my kid now!!

–School supplies. I wrote about this last year and I’ll probably write about it every year until it either changes or Jake graduates, whatever comes first. I pay taxes. This money then goes to the government to be distributed to social programs, road work, postal services, and most of all, to education. Why then, since ALLLLL this money is being dumped into schools, can they not afford to buy their own shit? I’m all for bringing a box of tissues in and a bottle of hand sanitizer every once in a while. But I’m not paying for every kid in the school to have school supplies. That isn’t my job. I already have a kid whom I buy supplies for, and until I have another, he’s the only one that’s getting anything from me! Last year I bought into the whole school supply gimmick and sent Jake’s backpack filled with all his crayons, markers, etc to school, only for him to come home telling me his teachers took it all and dumped it into a bin for a class set.

And I know, I’m the evil one because I don’t want to “provide” for his class. I should just be locked up and thrown in jail, blah blah blah. The problem is, as I found out last year, Jake often comes home with homework that require scissors and glue, markers, crayons, etc, and since he no longer has HIS supplies that I bought him, we have to scrounge up stuff from home. And I know you’re all sitting there waving around your shiny platinum credit cards going, “well, gee willikers! Can’t you just buy two sets for school and at home?!” Well, gee willikers, I could do that! But I’m not going to because I shouldn’t have to!!!! I bought school supplies for JAKE, not impoverished little Johnny or anybody else, goddamnit. If they can’t afford pencils, then by all means take my tax dollars and give them that. As for the money I’m not required to hand over to the government, that’s mine, and it ain’t going to anyone but my kids and my kids alone!!! Even if I have to label each individual crayon with his name on it and attach a note saying “NOT FOR USE BY ANYONE ELSE”, well then by all means…

And one more complaint because I had to go to Wal-Mart on my way home:

–How hard is it to put your cart away at the store? They have at least twenty cart corrals all over the parking lot, yet a majority of people can’t seem to locate them or else there wouldn’t be stray carts all over the place. I know walking ten extra feet might just kill somebody, but for the sake of humanity, can you just put your goddamn cart back? I’m not asking for you to walk all the way back to the store, just that you move your lazy ass ten extra feet to the designated cart area. Hardly ever do I leave my cart out, and if I do, it’s with good reason. Even in the rain, I somehow still manage to put it away, and that’s with a screaming kid on my back. If I can do it, so can you! I know common courtesy isn’t the world’s forte, but come on, we can do better than this. It’s ten extra feet and it saves me about ten hours of extra bitching. You guys do realize I wouldn’t even have to write a blog if everyone wasn’t so goddamn lazy and stupid, right?!

In the words of Obama, “yes we can”!!

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

Trivial Pursuit

 

 I don’t ever regret taking Jacob in or becoming his “adoptive mother”. It’s not a responsibility that I take lightly, nor is it in any way some kind of means to an end. I love that baby with all my heart and soul, and I’d die if meant he could have the life he deserves. I’d die for him. But this isn’t all about me or him. There are multiple players in this particular game of chess, and unfortunately it’s not all cut and dry like you’d want to believe. There are emotional ties, personal issues…People’s lives are involved. It isn’t so simple as to just cut the red tape and get on with it.

That being said, my only goal or outcome I’d ever want out of any of this is for Jake to be happy and healthy. For him to have the world because that’s what he deserves. Take my happiness, but please, for the love of god, spare him this life of misery. It absolutely disgusts me that other people have any interest in anything else.

Jake needs his mother. Not his sister trying to be his mother. I can raise Jacob on my own to the best of my ability with as much love and compassion that a real mom could ever give, and sure, that makes a difference, but I’m still not his mom. He also needs a father, not some guy who’s mentally checked out half the time and doesn’t give a shit the rest of the time. I can’t be that for Jake; I cannot be his parents. I’ve tried. I’ve tried so hard and given everything I could possibly give to make this work. The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter how hard I try. He does not recognize me as his parent.


What do I do? I can’t keep forcing this act down his throat thinking he’ll take to me any differently. I’m not his mom, and he’s well aware of that. So I talked to his real mom, you know, my mom, and I tried to explain how much this whole parental void was hurting Jacob and how much he needed a parent to be present in his life…one that wasn’t his sister. I wasn’t planning on rushing into things, just slowly transitioning him from my care to theirs, you know, back to how it should be and always should’ve been. And this is no easy feat on me, mind you. Do you think I want him to leave?! I feel like my heart is getting ripped out of my chest and stomped on repeatedly. But this is in his best interest. It isn’t about me. All I wanted was the time of day to discuss a major issue that needs to be dealt with. All I wanted was for my mother to be a mother! But instead I get a flippant little wave, a petty “oh, you’re doing just fine on your own…” and another conversation silenced before it hardly began.

The worst part isn’t that she’s so passive about the whole issue of abandoning her children, but the fact that she seems disappointed in me for even asking her not to. As if she has the right to be upset because she had a hand in creating the three problems that are now holding her down the most. Am I missing something? Should I be more empathetic towards my mom? How long do I have to walk in her shoes before I can say I understand? Will I ever understand? 

Sorry, Jacob, I guess having parents will just have to wait until mommy and daddy feel inclined to give a shit. But hey, for what’s it worth, I’m still here…

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

There’s no light at the end of the tunnel tonight, just a bridge that I’ve got to burn...

Jake Graduates & I Contemplate

Jacob graduated!!! He is officially two months of summer vacation away from being a first grader!!!

This year went by entirely too quickly! It was my first year out of school, and Jake’s first year (save the Tuesday and Thursday afternoons he was in pre-k) that he was in school. All very different and exciting lives than we were used to, but we adjusted well and had a blast! Sure, not everyday was a walk in the park (getting up at 6AM and that whole homework every night thing was exhausting!!) but we got through it and tonight was a celebration of all of that. I’m so proud of Jacob; he’s been working hard all year and has grown so much! He’s made so many friends and is just a happy little camper all around. Go him!

At this time last year, I had just dropped out of high school and was trying to figure out who I was as a person. Just a person; not a student or a someone’s child, just me. Who was I when push came to shove? When things were truly the darkest before the dawn? And for a long time I didn’t know. It was such a huge transition between having people constantly and consistently needing and wanting something from me, something that I didn’t even have, to being completely on my own, living life on my own terms and making my own rules. All I had was myself. And for months I sat here thinking, “what do I want? What do I need to do?”. I didn’t have the answers. When you live your life for so many people as I had been doing for so long, you end up losing who you are. You wind up not knowing anything about yourself; what you like, what you dislike, etc. and finally regaining control of yourself can be a very scary, overwhelming thing. You have to figure out the direction in which you’re heading, and you have to do it pretty damn quickly if you want to get there in a timely manner.

I had a year to plan my future. I decided right off the bat that I’d get my GED, and though I was positive that I had everything mapped out perfectly after that, this last month has really opened my eyes and has me rethinking quite a bit. My original plan was to go to the School of Visual Arts in New York this fall, but as of late, I feel my place is in no other part of town but LA. Yes, Los Angeles; city of sin (or is that Las Vegas?!). I have this thing where it seems that anything I’ve ever gotten in life comes about in some unconventional way. I don’t go to school, my family is a fucking mess, everything feels like it should be falling apart… but it’s not. Things are working out and life is good. So now I have this huge dilemma of, do I go to college and change everything? Do I use the logical side of my brain and actually do something reasonable for once? Or I do hop on the next flight to California, live in some crap part of town and try to “make it”? A part of me (the part that wants my parents to be proud, and also the part that doesn’t want to get shanked with a rusty piece of metal) says that, hell no you’re not going to LA, get your ass back to school!, but another part tells me that um…yes!! This is your dream!! Screw college, do itttt do itttt do ittt!!

I don’t know what to choose, and once again, I don’t know what to do. Back to square one. Tonight at Jacob’s graduation, the principal told the parents that it was their job to mold their child’s future; to at least give them something tangible to hold on to and a path to go down. Right now, I’m holding his hand as we walk through the dark, on an unknown path that leads to unknown destination. I don’t know where I’m guiding him or where I’m taking myself. I just know that, however unfamiliar or bumpy the road gets, regardless of where we end up, we’ll always have each other. I’m happy about that.

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

Primal Scream

Today has been…a day. Before I get into that, though, let’s focus on our new header we got going on here. First of all, this is my absolute favorite header/layout I’ve had in my entire blogging career (it’s a career now, shut up). Not because the art is that great; I’m decent to mediocre when it comes to anything Photoshop. I love it because the message really seems to suit my life, and therefore this blog, perfectly. If you can’t read underneath the name, it says (lyrics from Mötley Crüe’s Primal Scream), “If you want to live life on your own terms, you gotta be willing to crash and burn”. I mean, how much of my life does that sum up? I do live life on my own terms; I moved out of my parents’ house right after I turned 16, I make my own rules, I have my own responsibilities, I live my own life. Hell, I’m moving to New York BY MYSELF in a couple of months! And due my…um…anarchy, and my inability to get along with anyone while being under the same roof, though it has allowed me to be free and live life on my own, it also in a lot of ways sucks total ass, thereby the crashing and burning. You make mistakes and the only person that you have to fall back on is yourself. Not that that’s anything new.

So this is my motto for now and I’m definitely sticking to it. I’m glad I’ve incorporated it into the bloggety-blog; it makes me feel like I’m one more step into being completely honest and sharing my full heart into this massive project. I’m so excited for the real 5th year anniversary of the day I first started posting (April 29!). Definitely some surprises coming your way 😉

Anyways! On with the ranting…

My parents were supposed to have Jake this weekend as his spring break is this week and I need all the time to charge my batteries as I can get. Well, for some reason, that fell through the cracks and I got him back this afternoon. On Friday, I literally slept for 13 hours and ended waking up at 7PM that night. I needed the sleep, and with Jacob not there I really took advantage. Today was supposed to be my errands day, but it was cold, wet and crappy out so I just went grocery shopping and returned home to find munckin and family waiting for my arrival. So much for a relaxing Saturday.

My ‘rents seemed to be mad at me, and I’ve literally no idea why. It’s not like I forced them to do anything, it’s two fucking days! I don’t know, I think people are just naturally angry at me for whatever reason. I’m easy to be angry at, especially lately just because of all the grudges I’ve been letting go of. It’s too much work to be mad all the time; it just wears me down and stresses me out. I’d much rather just forgive and forget or repress it until I’m in my mid-30s and then buy a sports car to deal with it then. I’ve lost the part of me that wants to fight, I simply don’t give a shit anymore.

That isn’t to say things don’t piss me off, because oh boy, do they. I’ve already talked about my parents, might as well make it a family reunion and include everyone! Nick is being a total, elitist fucking asshole, more so than usual. So long story short, I didn’t graduate high school and don’t hold down what society would call a “real job”, so obviously I have no goals or motivations and pretty much just strive to be homeless by the time I’m 25. Except for that whole, ya know, getting my GED in July (the absolute earliest I can get it), going to college in the fall, etc etc. Those aren’t goals, according to expert fucking Nicholas, they’re silly little pipe dreams that won’t amount to anything. I’d like to say that I just made that up for a dramatic anecdote, but no, he really said that. He truly thinks that I’m worthless; that anything I set out to do will be a colossal failure just like the rest of my life. It’s so fucking awesome to know that your older brother, the person who is probably the closest human being that you have, thinks you’re an absolute waste of space.

It’s funny how, though my job is “stupid” and “pointless”, it pays for the house he lives in (yes, he lives under MY roof), the food in MY kitchen, and the clothes on his back. He can’t even afford to pay a quarter of the rent half the time yet I’m the loser?!

Today he actually told me that I should get a job at Dairy Queen (the place he was fired from two years ago) so that I would know what a “real job is”. He said that working the cash register is “hard work” and the drive-thru window is even worse. Are you fucking kidding me?! This fucking moron who can’t even work a cash register is going to tell me how to live my life? Fuck you!

No fucking offense to anyone who works in fast food, but if you can’t figure out THIS:

within thirty minutes of it first being shown to you, it’s safe to say you’re right where you belong. I mean, for fuck’s same, REALLY? Is pressing a couple buttons hard? Is it difficult to keep track of how many fucking cheeseburgers someone orders? Nick, I might be a high school drop out spiraling down into the gates of Hell, but holy fuck, at least I can work in fast food!

A couple days ago we got on the subject of my taking the GED test, and he accused me of not knowing how to use a calculator. Look, I might suck at math and am just generally stupid as fuck (according to Nick), but hey, just like a cash register, it ain’t fucking rocket science! I can’t even believe I’m writing this like I have something to prove. He’s just such a dick; he has nothing going for him so he has to bring down everyone else. D-I-C-K.

Can we just entertain this thought for a moment…Nick graduated high school last year, not with any honors or achievements; basically he ranked somewhere in the middle of his class. Before graduating, he worked at Dairy Queen for two months during the summer before his junior year. Two fucking months. He worked as a life guard, also for two months, the summer before his senior year. After graduating, Nick spent from May to November doing absolutely nothing. I think he mailed in a few pieces of paper to the Airforce, which mommy and daddy filled out and sent off anyways. So yeah, he did nothing. In November, as a way to get him out of the house and into the working world, my dad got him a job as a plumber’s assistant. He goes to work about three times a week, and since he can only buy his girlfriends, he’s miraculously managed to not get fired and oh yeah, our dad is friends with his boss so I’m sure that helps too.

Now I’m not trying to make it sound like this is a bad thing. He just turned 18, he’s living life out of high school. These are years to relax, enjoy, have fun! That’s all great; I want him to be happy, I want him to enjoy this time while he isn’t being forced to provide for himself. But to think, I’ll be going to college in the fall, living a million miles from everyone I know, truly living my life completely, 100% on my own. I have roughly the next six months until I’m ripping the band-aid off for a good, being a full adult at the age of 17. I never got the wild and crazy years of being a carefree teenager. I was forced to adopt, adapt, and live life as a person 10 years older and wiser than I really am. In all this crazy shit, I should be 26! Again, I’m not trying to be all woe-is-me boooo hoooo hoooo; I just want to live my life without people criticizing me ALL THE TIME.

Which brings me to my next subject! What, did you think I was done?!

My grandfather is coming for Jake’s spring break to “visit”. And by “visit” I mean judge and criticize and ridicule and complain. Because that’s what grandparents are for, obviously. I swear these people come by every few months just so they can find something to bitch about. Talk about people who are always angry at me!

The last time my grandmother was here, everything was perfect. The house was spotless, dinner’s flawless, Jake on his best behavior. Didn’t matter. Didn’t matter for one second because fuck me, I suck! My grandfather is the same way, and I’m willing to bet the first words out of his mouth will be, “Hey Lindsay, any plans to get back in school yet?” to which I’ll reply for the millionth time with, “No, grandpa, I’m getting my GED and going to art school later this year” and then he’ll probably let out some deep sigh of disappointment and then tell me to get him a drink. The same conversation five billion times over. Obviously my happiness, my hopes, and my dreams are meaningless to everybody.

Despite all these problems, I still am doing relatively well in terms of happiness. I’m determined to not let them get to me. Maybe one day I’ll get to prove them all wrong. And then again, there’s always room to crash and burn…

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

PS.: If you actually read this whole thing, thank you! It feels like it was long to write and had a lot of boring, personal shit no one cares about, but if you made it to the end that’s more than I could ask for.

Weight On My Shoulders

I don’t know the first thing about parenting…big shocker, right? Talk about needing a manual. God, kids are a pain in the ass, and don’t you ever forget it. I mean, of course I love Jake with all my heart but ohhhh boyyyy is he a handful.

Since public school is letting me down massively (hence our switch to private school next year) we’ve been working extra hard at home to get him caught up and ready for the first grade. Well, that’s not going so well.

I’ve tried everything. I have his dolche (I think that’s what they’re called?) site words plastered all over my dining room (no, really, I joke around with my parents all the time saying my house looks like a kindergarten classroom)

I have a ton of books; alphabet books, first word books, I even dug out some of my old Hooked On Phonics books from when I was a kid. We have three games that we *try* to play, we even have some alphabet/word puzzles! So the problem isn’t with the supplies.

I get so excited to do homework, just sitting in the colorful word-filled dining room, looking at all the books we can read, the flashcards, etc. I want to be his teacher!

The problem…is him.

He doesn’t like learning because he doesn’t like work. And learning to him IS work. Like I said, we have plenty of games and I try, I REALLY do, to make learning as fun as I possibly can. He doesn’t care. Jake still thinks it’s work and therefore hates it and wants nothing to do with it.

More recently I’ve taken on the “angry approach” just because I want to be done already.

That doesn’t work because he just yells right back and then we just look like two idiots screaming about some site words.

Another problem is that he doesn’t take me seriously AT ALL. I’ll try to explain something to him and he’ll just put his head down in the middle of my sentence, or he’ll start smirking/laughing at me like it’s some kind of joke. That’s what he treats me like, like I’m some kind of moron that doesn’t know what she’s talking about. It’s so disrespectful, but what can I do? I tell him to stop or I send him to his room, take something away, etc but, just as he doesn’t take me seriously when I’m trying to teach him something, he doesn’t take it seriously when I try to discipline him either.

I need advice because I’m just at a loss. What can I do to make Jacob listen to me and take not only my parenting seriously, but also his education? I’m on my way to having a kindergarten drop out! Is there something I can be doing to make learning easier/more fun? I’ve asked his school many times for help, for resources, for anything! All I get is blank stares…please help me!

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

Public School vs Private School

If you read anywhere from late August of last year until right now, you’ll know I have some serious issues with Jake’s school. I don’t like it, not one bit. So I’ve been looking into some private schools that have smaller class sizes (like waaaayyy smaller), better teachers, and a better curriculum. The thing is, to have all the benefits of a better school, there’s still a lot of cons that come along with it, i.e. I’ll be shelling out almost $500 for tuition every month, plus some other things.

Public School

Pros:

•It’s free

•Already enrolled, wouldn’t have to change schools

•Jacob has friends there

•Provides lunch (private schools make you bring lunch from home)

•No uniform

•Better playgrounds (the private schools I visited had really crappy playgrounds)

•No religious bullshit

•Has extra curriculars like PE, music, art, etc

•Jake likes his school (because he hasn’t realized how horrible and damaging it is)

Cons:

•Too many kids in the classroom (20 students and only one teacher, not enough individual attention is given)

•Too much testing (the government requires students to be tested every month. Teachers are so focused on them passing the tests that they aren’t focused on truly learning whatsoever)

•No one is helping Jacob (every time he falls behind, no one is there to help him catch up. This is because of everything I mentioned before; teachers are too overwhelmed)

•Soooooo much homework. Every. single. night.

•School starts at 7:45AM which means we’re up before the sun every morning.

•No one talks to me. I don’t know what’s going on with his school, how he’s doing, the grades he’s getting, etc. Teacher never sends home any work, has a short weekly newsletter that isn’t really informative; I never know what’s happening until another parent-teacher conference comes up!

Private School

Pros:

•School starts at either 8:30 or 8:45 (went to three different schools, each has their own start time)

•Better curriculum

•No state mandated tests, save one at the end of the year

•Smaller class sizes (the maximum is 14 students)

•Better teachers that actually know what they’re doing

•Jacob will be assisted more, won’t be left to his own devices all the time

•He’ll be learning more than core subjects, like manners, etc

•Packing his lunch will allow me to see what he’s eating, if he’s getting the right nutrition, etc

Cons:

•Tuition is HOLY BALLS expensive, def some $mad chedda$ going towards it

•Enrollment (which comes with enrollment fees and open houses and fuck knows what else)

•Religious bullshit (I want Jake to make his own decisions regarding religion. I don’t want the fear of “going to hell” to brainwash him into believing something)

•Bad playgrounds (that’s important when you’re six)

•Small classrooms/less kids (better for learning and getting an education, but I’m afraid socializing and all that might be awkward for him)

•Uniforms = a fuck ton of laundry

•Have to bring your own lunch (meaning I have to buy and pack a different lunch everyday. May require getting creative in the kitchen. I hate cooking)

•More possibilities of getting in trouble (I’m not exactly Mother Mary over here, and Jake is definitely reflecting that. No, he’s not walking around swearing or something cray like that; get real. But he does like to sing. And I don’t mean singing bible songs and all of that, he likes Nirvana and Mötely Crüe. I can just imagine him belting out “Smokin’ In The Boys Room” in the middle of class. I’m sure that’ll go down well…

Okay, so thoughts and opinions, people! What should we do?

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

In The Morning

Just sat down to write this post. It’s 7AM. Why am I up at 7AM?! Jacob’s school, of course.

Yes, Jake’s school starts at 7:30, which means his bus comes at 6:45, which means, yes, both him and I are up at 6AM everyday. Fun times in the life of me.

Little J was good this morning, getting dressed and getting himself downstairs for breakfast. He had a bowl of Fruit Loops, brushed his and teeth, and we were out the door.

So we’re hanging out at his bus stop in the freezing cold (and the fog!) just talking about handing out his Valentine’s and all that fun stuff, when it occurs to me…he doesn’t have his backpack!!

I can remember to put two coats on him, but forget the backpack!

So I’m trying to run home while holding his hand, wondering if I should leave him at the corner of the street or just bring him back to the house entirely, and of course his bus is coming right then and there, so I brought him as far as the driveway, ran in the house by myself, grabbed the book bag, and ran back to him just in time for us to hobble across the street right on time for him to get on the bus! That’s the most running I’ve ever had to do before the sun came up!

Happy Tuesday, folks! Hope it’s a little less chaotic than my morning!!

§Rainbows & Skeletons§

Jake’s Favorite Songs

I tell people all time time, Jacob loves music. Since getting Rock Band, he has discovered so many news songs that he now likes to play and sing along to constantly. I swear he’s going to be in a band one day!

His favorites, pretty much in order of him discovering them:

Paramore – Pressure

I’ve played Paramore around Jake since he was a baby, and for some reason this song stuck more than any of the others. He asks me to play it all time time, and though he can kind of mumble along, he doesn’t know all the lyrics quite yet.

My Chemical Romance – NaNaNa

I’ve been reluctant to let him listen to MCR just because I’m a stuck up prude who doesn’t approve of swearing in songs. Okay, so maybe I just don’t want him to go to school and be all “fuck like a Kennedy!!” to his teacher. Nick did that at his pre-school graduation, and we don’t need a repeat with Jake. That being said, I let him listen to the clean version of Danger Days and he absolutely loves it! NaNaNa is still his favorite though, just because he loves the chorus (what kid wouldn’t?!).

Queen – We Will Rock You

Who doesn’t love this song? Jake can sing AND dance to it. He does the whole clap-clap-stomp thing, almost to the point where I wanna duct tape his limbs down just to make it stop. But he’s too cute so I don’t.

Joan Jett – I Love Rock n’ Roll

Discovered through Rock Band, he makes me play this song AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. He knows the whole song by heart, and you can frequently catch him singing it, “I love rock and roll, put ‘notha dime in da jute box bay-by!”

The Police – Don’t Stand So Close to Me

Another one off Rock Band. He used to hate it at first, but it started to grow on him and now he can’t get enough of it. The first verse is his favorite, “Da teacher, da ‘ubject…”. Luckily, he hasn’t quite grasped the concept of what the song is about, just that “that lead singer guy really doesn’t want you to stand next to him!!”

Nirvana – In Bloom

Nirvana is another band I’m hesitant about Jacob getting into. Yeah, sure I’d love to walk around and be like, “my kid loves Nirvana!!”. But again with the language and song meanings; I’m trying to preserve childhood innocence for as long as I can. However, he has heard In Bloom, and he does like it! He likes the guitar in it, and the slowness of the song.

Radiohead – Creep

Okay, okay, I know you’re all looking at me going, “Oh my gooodddd, she lets her six-year-old listen to Radiohead! Shun, shun, shun…”. But it’s not that bad. Jake likes this song for the same reason he likes In Bloom. Guitar and bass. Doesn’t even acknowledge the lyrics aside from the “I’m a cweeeep!!” part.

I imagine he’ll look back at this and realize the songs’ meanings. I’m hoping that won’t happen until later on. But hey, I was raised on Mötley Crüe until I started singing Wild Side in class and then my dad decided it was time to switch over to some REO Speedwagon. I didn’t know what any of the songs were about until I was much older, so I’m not too worried.

§Rainbows & Skeletons§