§Rainbows & Skeletons§
For one, has anyone noticed the number of blogs named after Paramore songs? I just noticed that. Figured I’d follow suit with this one…
Anywho, since my summer officially comes to a close in three days and no one’s really into reading knowing that their impending doom is so close, I’ve decided that this is going to be picture day!
YES!
OMG. OMG. OMG.
This picture is from my friend’s blog and well…it’s adorable. 🙂
I was seriously having a good hair day.
Receipt from the toll in Oklahoma. Don’t know why I took a picture of it but whatever.
Jake waiting for noms.
I made muffinssss!
Alright that’s all I’ve got for today. Tomorrow I promise to start keeping up with my photography duties more. Gotta get my grove back!
§Rainbows & Skeletons§
PS.: If any of you are looking for new music that doesn’t suck (because you all have such horribly awful taste), listen to Rise Against. They’ve been in my head allllll day.
Every single day I just lose more and more hope in humanity. It seems like no one cares about anyone but themselves anymore. It’s so upsetting.
A couple days ago, I was on my way home from school when I saw this little girl just walking down the street all by herself, not an adult in sight. I just have to wonder why. Why is this child, not more than three or four, wandering down this busy neighborhood with no one to look after her? Do I need to spell out all the danger she could be in? Pedophiles, bad drivers, anything! And who would know? Not a soul. She’d be found face down in a ditch on the side of a highway and no one would even know what had happened.
Then today as I was walking home from the store, I see another little girl, probably about six or seven. This child was again riding her bike all alone in the middle of the street, wearing none other than a Hooter’s shirt.
Where are these kids’ parents? How many of our children need to be raped, killed, found dead before we start to realize that things need to change? It’s not fair that we never even give these children a chance.
I’m not even a parent, but having Jake puts more than enough will in me to make this world a better place. I don’t fear for myself anymore, I fear for him. He is the only one I’d ever take a bullet for. No one could be more important in my life than him, no one.
He might be a pain sometimes, but he can just be so sweet. How could I not sacrifice everything of mine for him? Last night I was looking at him, looking into his beautiful, blue eyes and I could have cried. He’s so precious.
The thing is, I have these feelings for a child that’s not even mine. I’d die for him, I would. So it just bemuses me that one’s own parents couldn’t have the same feelings of adulation.
I’m not talking about wealth, I’m not talking about anything of the like, not even the physical aspect of it. I cannot bring myself to accept that people could look into a child’s face and not make that instant emotional connection. For me, I loved my little brother before he was even born. I remember just sitting on the bed with my mother and feeling him. Feeling his heartbeat. Feeling his undeniable love.
I understand that being a parent is a selfless thing, I do. Even being a sibling takes the life out of you. But the bliss is always there. Even when I’m about ready to kill everyone, I can still comprehend the sense of love. I can still see that Jacob is the closest to heaven that I’ll ever be, and that without him, without these miracles, there’d be no point to this life.
So why then? Why do people let these tragedies happen? That will be a question I’ll be asking until the day I die. I get that there are monsters out there, that there are mental disorders that people cannot help, sure. But when people can just toss a helpless infant into the trash and not perceive remorse, that I can’t handle. I will always feign confusion for these children.
Please, God dammit, for the future of our planet, do not have kids unless you are ready to give up absolutely EVERYTHING for the life of your child. Unless you are fully prepared to let go of the life you are living completely, do not even consider giving birth. Also, turn off your Myspace, Facebook, everything. Turn off the TV and RAISE YOUR KIDS. If you don’t ever give them a light at the end of the tunnel, how the hell can you ever expect them to find their way out?! I’m sick of seeing six-year-old’s on the internet, posting pictures of themselves, where they live, etc. I worry about people finding out my real name, and here they are whoring themselves out, not knowing what kind of danger they’re in. It’s ailing.
§Rainbows & Skeletons§
Today I just started to feel this overwhelming sense of composure for, what seems like, no reason at all. Like the calm before the storm, this almost magical sense of cadence just overtook the air around me. I felt alive. Not just alive, but like I was actually living.
For most people, this bliss isn’t anything new, but I haven’t felt this way in years. The sudden ambiance….I don’t know; it just took hold of me.
It seems like I’ve been a zombie for the past couple months. Bitterness has just set in and attacked every fiber of happiness in me. It’s pulled me apart in so many different directions. But today it was almost like having the fragments of broken life put back together. The caress of each moment was extraordinary.
I’m on my feet again, to say the least. I can fumble this feeling of being literally so desperate that I’d do anything to breathe normally and I just can’t go back to that. The semblance of a second chance is washing over me.
A brand new day, a brand new chance to grasp the real meaning of life. To just drop this empty reality and start over. This whole sensation, it’s just so foreign. The aura of being able to handle anything anymore. But, yet, it’s so irrefutable. I could never let go of this atmosphere. Not now.
There’s undeniably someone here. An angel, a savior. I never wanted to let them go, but one day I woke up and the world came crashing down. But this, it’s physical. It’s all around me. It’s love. It’s true faith. It’s everything. Without this we lose not only everyone close to us, but we end up losing ourselves.
The thing is, it’s not perceptible to most of us. We don’t ever think that something could just hit us in the middle of our journey and knock us so far down. I never thought that I’d just get out of bed and decide that I was going to lose faith in humanity. And I most certainly didn’t think it sensible to just let myself diminish my God in front of my eyes. Yet, it still happened.
To wake up to something tangible, it’s gracious. I don’t want to ever let myself wander from what is sincere. It’s scary though. Like standing on a carpet and hoping someone doesn’t pull it out from under you. For now, though, it’s valid. It’s existing. And that’s all I could ever ask for.
§Rainbows & Skeletons§
I guess listening to the same songs that came out in the 1800’s, for forever now, just isn’t my thing. Sue me.
And Mrs. I-Don’t-Own-The-Place-But-I-Act-Like-I-Do, I’m not you! I don’t listen to awful Christmas music in the middle of November. Seriously, people, it’s ONE day. We spend the whole month getting prepared for this gay holiday, and then once it’s over, it’s over. No need to change our whole freaking lives over one day. It’s freaking creepy. The way you people wake up at 4 am just to shop, is disgusting. Get the damn presents in August, hide ’em in your closet, and we’re done.
I swear, If ONE MORE PERSON shuns me about listening to Underoath around “the holidays”, I’m going to scream. You don’t want to hear it, then GO AWAY. It’s not that hard of a concept.
***
Rise Against is getting closer and closer! I need to buy tickets!
This site is so incredibly stupid! It’s absolutely ridiculous!
1- None of my topic were even bad! Nothing was wrong with them, but still staff just decides to go ban hammer every little thing.
2- They censor everything! Nothing is wrong with talking about newbs, okay? They’re little, annoying spammers that infest the site with their lack of freaking knowledge! Everyone hates them…I’m sorry but, “im new!!!!!!!! help me with stuf!!!” is really annoying.
3- They banned me for NO REASON. I’ve only had 5 topics reported in the last 6 months and 3 of those were from the hackers that reported every topic in General Chat when they got bored, so only about 2 of my topics were actually my fault!
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On a happier note, Rise Against is awesome, and I might actually get to see them soon!
rainbowsandskeletons 